#because i want to spend as little money on subscription services as possible

[riddlerosehearts]

when someone is struggling financially and still pays for a ton of different streaming services because they refuse to pirate anything it lowkey drives me insane. i canceled both spotify premium and disney+ recently and i do not miss them at all because i can still easily get everything that was on them without paying a combined total of $45 a month.

[funkin-news]

ninjamuffin newgrounds post!

tl;dr

fuck ads!! use adblocker whenever you can!!

the crew tries to make fnf as ad-free as possible, not just the game but where you download it- it's why it's on itch/newgrounds and not anywhere that offers ad revenue

that being said, fnf mobile will likely have a free version which... will have ads. they will try not to make the ads too obnoxious

(there will be an ad-free paid version too!)

extra note from me, not the post: if you're an android user you totally shouldn't use youtube revanced and purpletv or anything for mobile youtube and twitch adblockers. it would be such a hindrance to the advertisers. ha ha

full post copied below ⬇️

greetings and merry xmas newgrounds

on my brain for a very long time has been advertisements. Something about ads that stick in my brain ever since I came across this little thing from Lichess.

In due time, unfortunately this post will become a bit hypocritical, as we will eventually publish FNF onto mobile, and that will very likely have a free ad supported version. Hopefully that doesn't undermine my thoughts too much, however FNF is more than just me and my brain! Not everything I say goes in terms of FNF decisions! So with all that being said, let me begin shouting about everything I hate about ads.

I use adblocker on everything, and you should too. UBlock Origin has been my reliable go to. Online ads are especially an insidious breed. I'll try not to be some tinfoil hat, but I do often wonder what the internet would look like if the online ad model *wasn't* fruitful back in the early days of the internet. Would Facebook, Google, etc. have an arms race to the bottom to get infinite amounts of data on every single person ever? Would social media algorithms optimize for a different experience other than *spend as much time as possible on our site*? Ads have existed before Youtube, Google, internet though. They exist on TV, on subways and buses, on radio, in newspapers. I think for the most part my deep hatred of ads is for online kind, I do think there can be "irl" ads that I find very unpleasant. Going on a subway or sitting at a bus stop, I think people deserve more dignity from their city public transit than to have something sold to them! I don't think an ad free life should be only reserved for those who can pay for spotify premium, youtube red, etc. I think everyone should be entitled to that DIGNITY.

X (the everything app, formerly Twitter ) has a Premium subscription that costs 10$/month (CAD), and they will only give you *half* the ads in your feed. How generous of them. I will be dramatic, and say that I look at ads with disgust. I hope to think I'm somewhat justified, as most ads look like dogshit, and are pretty worthless.

For a very long time (and currently, as of writing/posting) FNF has been entirely ad free. We did stand up to putting it on other web portals that offer ads and ad payments/rev share, because we do somewhat want to be part of the change we'd like to see in the world. We want to believe in a world where someone can put out a free game on itch/newgrounds, and have the development be supported purely off donations (which FNF was supported by that in the early days / first 6 months of development!). We definitely could have made much MUCH more money if we put FNF on websites that offer ad rev share, but we didn't, and I hope that doesn't fall on deaf ears.

However we do promote our own things from within the game, Kickstarter, merch, etc. I suppose I'm less upset or even thinking about that, I think there's a big difference if we had a lil Kickstarter trailer in-game that played, opposed to having an in-game advertisement for some fuckass mobile game or some cosmetics or somethin. We specifically are still curating what we are putting in the game with our lil links to merch, kickstarter, etc.

We also provide the soundtrack on Spotify / streaming services, which do indeed get money from ads. I think I'm so detatched from Spotify ads and being angry at them, since I've been spotify premium user even at the brokest poorest in my life... i need them album downloads!!! I do think that's an aspect where there is an adfree alternative, which is Bandcmap, where you can listen to the FNF OST as much as you want, and if you pay some coin, you can download it in high quality!

My thoughts on FNF mobile with ads is that they will make me very unhappy and deeply sad. I do sincerely apologize to those of you who would be unable to play FNF on anything other than a mobile device, and aren't able to get the full mobile version, so you become punished with ads. We do hope to not be obnoxious with mobile ads. If you have a computer, even a shitty busted one that runs slow, I personally hope you end up compiling the mobile version yourself to get past ads. The thought of that lets me rest easier just a little bit. The FNF will be proudly open source forever.

There will also be a paid version of FNF mobile, that will have no ads. Pay for that one if you please.

[mxjackparker]

I love your work, and I have a question.

I'm a trans guy who is thinking about starting an OF. I have a lot of knowledge in marketing and the kink scene, but otherwise I haven't monetized this part of my life yet.

What are the basics I should know about this kind before I jump in?

The knowledge of marketing and kink will help you a lot! Honestly, most of the work is the marketing, and you'll spend far more time on that than you will making the actual content for your subscription site (at least at first).

My best advice with the start of your advertising would be the sex worker version of "work smart, not hard" - a little nudity and some clips go a long way in your advertising. I realize many people don't want to show themselves for free and want to censor all their ads, but I've always gotten more subs through people finding the clips on my profiles on porn sites than I have through marketing or Twitter or via social media (with Reddit being the occasional exception, when a picture gets a lot of likes, but only with nudes!)

Post in every possible "trans" tag you can find on porn sites, like adding "ftm" and "trans" and even tags like "twink" or "femboy" even if that's not actually your aesthetic because people in those tags often will want to see just any trans guy.

Basics outside of the marketing stuff:

Prepare what you'll do if people in your life find out: vanilla job, family, etc. Take precautions in like with the risk and how bad that'd be.

Get a cheap second phone + a protonmail email account and use that phone number and email when you sign up for stuff so you don't get recommended to people you know!

Create a menu of services you offer and costs; it is easier to get more money from someone already subbed to your subscription site than it is to get a new subscriber. If you can pull £50/$50 from one subscriber, that'll be worth many new subscriptions!

Also I'd hugely recommend going with JustForFans or an equivalent rather than OnlyFans. They permit more content, break down less, and the owners of OnlyFans have donated money to Israel.

I'd also suggest signing up to additional sites, like IWantClips or Manyvids, where you can sell full videos. It'll bring more people to your subscription site, has internal traffic, and you'll make extra money that way and seem more "professional". They also have trans tags/sections!

[snake-and-mouse]

I'll be honest tho... I'm not upset to have one less reason to open youtube.

I am upset one more bit of joy is ending. I can't afford the subscription, not that I'd have gotten it if I could. Leaving because they don't "fit youtube", which is more hubris than truth, and with three shows made with fan submissions that I don't find appropriate to paywall and charge 6$ for...I'm not sayings it's good Watcher has decided they don't need or want their poor and international fans. But ignoring the debate of it all for a sec-

The very first time youtube tried to make me watch a forty five second unskippable ad, actually four ads in one, just the first ad roll of many for a twenty minute let's play, plus more ads slipped in after the video ends hoping I don't notice and exit fast enough, watched on a tv I can't put adblock on, forty five seconds and unskippable, as someone who remembered being pissed over a decade ago at the very first time I saw an ad on youtube, the only ad I saw the whole fucking day, which became multiple unskippable ads Every Fucking Video-

I knew my days of using youtube for entertainment were officially over. It was the last forty some straws on a camel that should have probably been dead years ago, but had stubbornly held on for convenience and habit until that moment.

Again, putting to side the various debates. The current business model is one that is very common, that I don't pretend to be above or immune to (or I wouldn't pay for spotify so I could stay sane in the face my day to day commutes) which is "Boil the frog; Over time the free version of your service becomes unpleasant enough to use that everyone eventually caves and pays to escape the constant torment of ads and locked features, because making a site as shitty as possibly is more effective than offering additional services."

And it works. Except for those of us who don't have the money. And for us? Youtube is just not a viable way to casually watch media anymore unless you have very thick skin and endless patience, the days of easy idle hours browsing long gone. Except people with adblock, youtube is dead to us, or at least dying. Which, I'm sure youtubers are aware of. The frog has noticed and is way too boiled. But you're not getting soup from us.

Instead youtube is now merely a source of annoyance and bitterness I can only bear exposing myself to for the very very few creators I'm too loyal to abandon being a fan of. I loosely keep up with a handful of youtubers, and only watch new videos as they are posted with maybe three.

And now that handful is a little smaller. Sad but convenient. I'm sure, despite the fact youtube used to be my main source of entertainment that I'd spend hours a day watching, one way or another the next few years that will dwindle to zero.

Back to Watcher, part of the shame here is, I'm honestly desperate for an option to watch and support youtubers I enjoy away from that site, as are many people, but a sustainable and accesible option that is realistic about the fanbase's needs and wants. Not that. That wasn’t a way to enjoy Watcher's content away from the dumpster fire. It was saying "If you can't pay or don't get our Vision™ then stay in the dumpster fire, which we're leaving, because we're Better, and those with taste and money will follow us, and those are the only fans we need."

Okay. Fine. Was nice knowing you, I'll miss Are You Scared, but I'm sure I can spend that time on something else now that won't show me six Arbys ads in a row.

[yoiku]

Just feeling like unpacking and sorting out some thoughts on this wonderfully rainy morning (begone, roadside dust!!)

Now, I've always been the type to post new art the moment it's done. Posting stuff only on Patreon has still proven easier than I expected. Perhaps since i am still posting stuff -somewhere- it doesn't feel as weird, even though I do miss the interaction from posting on socials. But that'll be back once I have a buffer big enough to keep Patreon relevant. It's also getting easier on letting posting on social wait as time goes by, lol. Actually thought that what if I make the publish gap with the comic even bigger, like several months between Patreon/other sites. But aaaah, I really do want to get it out. It might create more of a gap with time anyway. And the best way to get new people interested in my Patreon is to have interesting stuff out there in the wild. And I'll be honest, it feels validating af to see even a few people willing to spend money to access my Patreon.

It's still conflicting sometimes, because I would really want to keep my stuff available to everyone without paywalls. Art in general is meant to be shared and should be accessible to everyone, this is something I feel on a larger scale. Things like commissioned, unique pieces are luxurious though. They are after all often personal as well. Artists don't live on grants and stipends, hell, even those are usually available for artists who have already made a name for themselves on a larger scale/are well connected. Majority I know struggle with part time jobs, unemployment, studying or are disabled, barely scraping by what they can get in terms of welfare etc. I'm no different. I'm on welfare due to health reasons + in debt, so basically I don't have any "extra" money at the end of each month left for nice things™. And if I do, it usually goes to paying a larger portion of debt away. Sometimes I spend and always regret it later, lol. But if you -never- get to treat yourself even a little, life starts to feel quite depressing. I know so many people are in the same kind of position, where it's just not possible to pay for more than 1-2 subscription services monthly, or none. So having my art behind a Patreon paywall of any kind feels bad, knowing I would likely not be able to afford it myself, lol. Will it ever be easy to combine the thought of art + money without having dreadful crapitalism thoughts creep in? Probably not.

I still want to do my best to pick up some commissions as well, I need to create some sort of hidden stash of money now that I have the cat. Because when (inevitably at some point) a trip to the vet happens, that's going to be at least a hundo no matter what. And when the last trip to the vet arrives, that's gonna be closer to 300-400 with all the cheapest options. (hopefully not anytime soon, but something i have to take into account) I am currently working on a painting comm and might have another one coming up as well, which is giving me much joy. Watercolours are a lot of work, but they're less taxing in the sense that there's only so much detail you can do compared to digital, and tradi allows the happy little accidents with the medium. So it's easier to feel like I did my best wihtout having the thought "ah... i should've kept fixing it"(without asking for more money bc I gotta do better ad infinitum) So I'm really happy peeps have shown interest in tradi comms, even though I'm not very well versed in techniques with those. Learning tho!

My head's been in a relatively good place for a good while now, all things considered. But I have to pull the brakes on myself every now and then because I know it only takes one hard hit in the old mental health for all of it going to shit in the blink of an eye. So I'm trying to tread carefully, prep and plan while keeping the bar set low enough.

Mom has moved to hospice care, which also means that getting the phonecall about her passing can also be any day now. I feel like I've made my peace with it, but even if it doesn't initially hit hard, I'm pretty sure it will bring some mental struggle later. And there will be the whole episode of handling her stuff afterwards. Thankfully there won't be any wealth to distribute, so likely all the mandatory/legal expenses will be handled by welfare. How dreadful that even in that, money is the first thing to have to worry about, huh.

At least the sun has returned from the winter jail, bright days lighten the mind.

[nickgerlich]

Changing Channels

A profound and fundamental shift in how we consume media started in January 2007, when Netflix started streaming movies alongside its DVDs-by-mail program. That was about the time that high-speed internet had become readily available, and could thus support all of the data being sent.

Here we are 18 years later, and millions of people have cut the cords that bound them, and streaming services are plentiful. We have chosen that we wish to get our entertainment via subscription services. For those who still like all of their old cable channels as well as local stations, they can be found on YouTubeTV, Sling, and others, also via subscription. And the last truly viable content left on linear television—sports—is steadily being found on sites like Netflix, Apple+, and Amazon Prime.

Don’t be surprised in five years if you can’t even find a pro game on CBS, NBC, or ABC.

But all is not perfect in the new media world. Many of us have faced subscription fatigue. There are only 24 hours in the day, after all, and we cannot begin to consume all of the shows and movies for which we have paid.

Then there is the fact that once you start to add up all of our subscriptions, it begins to resemble what we previously paid for cable or satellite. During the high inflation period we just endured, all of the serves seized the opportunity to jack up their rates. Once the actor and screenwriter strikes were resolved, more price hikes came along. We aren’t saving anything, are we?

To add a little more salt to the wound, Netflix announced this week it is raising its prices again. This comes after the firm experienced its largest three-month jump ever in subscribers. They now have 302 million subscribers worldwide. The new monthly pricing tiers are $7.99 for ad-supported, $17.99 for ad-free, and $24.99 for premium.

Yikes. If you also have Hulu, Disney+, Apple+, Paramount+, Max, and/or Peacock, you have a whopper of a monthly bill.

While I have no problem with the new price, I am beginning to wonder when consumers will start balking. You know the others are always watching Netflix, because it is the biggest streaming service in the world. Plan on more price hikes from its competitors, because they know they can do it too. Affordability will increasingly become an issue.

Still, I know I get my money’s worth from Netflix, because I spend so much time watching it. The new monthly price is still cheaper than date night at the theatre. Much cheaper. I have only seen two movies in the theatre—Barbie and Wicked—in the last six years. If you want to look at it this way, I may well be saving money even with all of my subs and price increases. I just wait for movies to become available on my subs.

Fortunately, most of the streaming services offer ad-supported tiers. I like my Netflix ad-free, because I watch it so much. But my Apple+, Paramount+, and Hulu subs have ads. I do just like I did when watching linear television. I have 90 seconds to run to the bathroom and grab a beverage or snack.

Another question is whether Netflix can sustain the rapid growth it has been enjoying. It is possible that through all of the previous price increases, they have discovered that demand for their service is pretty inelastic. Of course, that only works to a point. You can only squeeze so much juice out of the orange.

The proof is in the pudding, of course. Their stock price is currently at just shy of $978 a share. It has risen 74% in the last 12 months. Revenues last year were $39 billion, with profits of $8.7 billion. Not bad.

My hunch is that there is still more juice to be squeezed. While this is somewhat an apples-to-oranges comparison because of the price differences, Netflix may be the Disneyworld of streaming. They can just keep raising and raising because people love them so much. What remains to be seen is if there really is a ceiling. Somebody needs to be making a documentary about all of this.

Dr “What Are You Watching Tonight?” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[peridotthesoft]

New Year, Old Resolutions

Content warning: discussion of weight loss, self-harm, a millennial with art degrees.

I often have ambitious goals when a new year rolls around. There’s often a tremendous list of things;

Loose 10st,

Travel to Japan solo,

Find and implement the cure for sadness,

Become fluent in another language in record breaking time,

Win the Turner Prize,

Find the love of my life

and so on.

For an unemployed Autistic person who hovers around the poverty line, these kinds of goals are unrealistic and ultimately extremely unhelpful. By January 15th I’m miserable and in bed eating my weight in discounted Christmas chocolates, renaming my savings account from “Travel Savings!” to “420 Money”.

Over the last few years, my new year resolutions are very often variations of the same concepts. Improve the body, improve the mind, improve social prowess. I think it’s safe to say that these might be fairly universal goals. Almost everyone I’ve talked to this year has had the same targets. We all want to be a little better, a little stronger, a little better put together. While there are very valid reasons to want to change yourself I think we’re so heavily encouraged to be dissatisfied with ourselves because unhappy people spend more money. Capitalism thrives on the general populous being down on themselves. Happiness is bad for the markets. In January there are so many targeted adverts for products, services and subscriptions that will “help you achieve your goals!” but… will they help?

The overall theme of my goals for 2025 is happiness. I want to shrug off the coat of gloom I’ve gotten comfortable in.

One of my personal goals for 2025 is one that is a little tricky to talk about. I want to loose weight. My current BMI* is dancing between 38-41. As someone who was raised around mostly women, weight was always the main topic of discussion. Fad diets, extreme exercise plans, gossip rags littered coffee tables that circled celebrity cellulite. There always seems to be another purchase available that will make me fit, toned and beach ready! Meal plans to take the thinking out! Protein shakes specially made to make you hungry an hour later! Weight Loss club to be gently bullied into buying branded foods. Gym memberships that change price after three months. Personal trainers who aren’t educated about disability. Apps that are totally free! (All they require is your location, details, access to your contacts, data and storage. Don’t worry about it.) Managing weight loss in a weight loss obsessed world is so hard. I do not think fatness is a bad thing. It is completely possible to be a healthy fat person. Most fat people are as healthy as the next average sized person. Especially in Queer communities, fatness is becoming acceptable and isn’t an issue in dating. Fatness has become a symbol of self-love for many people, a way of defying oppressive demands of the body and embracing comfort. For me however, fatness is where I store stress. To cut a very long sad story short, I struggled with understanding myself as a kid and as an adult it led to over analysis of the self. This most notably manifested as self-harm. Amongst more violent methods, I developed a very strained relationship with food. The core idea was this: I don’t know what to do or say > I can’t talk if my mouth is full > the bigger I am, the less social prowess is expected of me. I hide inside of my body. It’s armour, thick padding that protects me from the world. I’ve spent a lot of time last year digging into the actual science around food and nutrition. I’m going to focus more on building up my physical strength and stamina without focusing too intently on the scales. I am by no means an expert and habits are exceedingly hard to change but I’m feeling ready to try. No purchase required.

The second key goal (don’t worry, I’m not going to take you through a full list of resolutions) is to level up my skills. Something I don’t like talking about too much is that I have 2 degrees. A BA in Fine Art and an MA in Art and Design. I’m not keen on chatting about them because I never did anything with them. I didn’t make any connections and most embarrassing of all I can’t draw very well. The first thing people say when they learn that I’m technically an artist is something along the lines of “Oh that’s amazing! I can’t even draw a stickman!”. Well…. Me either. I spent four or five years hyper-focused on painting self portraits. I can draw my own face, literally with my eyes closed. But I can’t draw my cat. Or a house. Or the rest of my body very well. Fun fact, the arts curriculum in England doesn’t actually require students to be taught technical skills on a Fine Art course. I went and paid externally for life drawing classes. I can talk your ear off until you beg for mercy about the history or art, about the importance of context and specifically about the history of self-portraiture in any medium. But I can't draw you a sick tattoo of Shrek. Unless you’re seeking a gruesome acrylic painting of my face looking particularly fed up, I’m not your guy. In the last year or so the intensity of my interest in making self-portraits has calmed down. I’ve been considering branching out. I’m extremely lucky to have space at home dedicated to making art and crafting. The last year, having been a particularly upsetting one for personal reasons, has meant I’ve used my studio for playing Bloons Tower Defence and not much else. But next year, I’m going to expand my current set of skills and share my work more. I’m going to tune up my technical skills as well as broaden my horizons and try new things. Having a passion is important to me, I’m an enthusiastic person. With nothing to turn that enthusiasm to I get extra uncomfortably weird. I think having a hobby is important for a person's wellbeing. Having an interest that is just for you, that doesn’t require money and that helps the time pass is a major contender in improving mental health. While fancy art supplies can be outrageously expensive, doodling on the back of an envelope isn’t. I’m someone who likes to express themselves in tangible, visible ways. It’s an enjoyable way to work out my feelings and frustrations without bothering anyone else. I struggle sometimes to know what it is I’m feeling and making some art is a fantastic way to muddle through and work out where I’m at. I’m a crafty guy, a home improvement cowboy and hopefully by the end of next year, an artist with a slightly less embarrassing body of work.

If you have new year resolutions, I wish you the best of luck with them. Any progress you make is more than you had before. If you don’t succeed with your resolutions, relax! It wasn’t meant to happen - maybe you need to approach your goals from a different angle or adjust the end goal to something more manageable. If your goals require you to spend a lot of money or to do something that makes you miserable, sit and have a think about if/why those goals are important to you.

If you don’t have new year resolutions, fantastic! Approach the new year with fresh eyes and optimism. It’s a whole new year and what it has in store for you will be unfolded over time.

*BMI is an inaccurate and harmful way to measure someone's health - it doesn't account for muscle or breast tissue and is built using male Caucasian measurements as its base which makes it wildly unreliable for non-male, non-White people. The guy who invented BMI literally is the cornerstone of eugenics.

I have a blog that I very half-heartedly keep up with here: [X]

[flutter-costs-and-benefits-2024]

Your Dream App With Flutter - Costs and Benefits 2024

Introduction

If a business wants to succeed in its term as soon as possible, then in today's digital age, it should be available online. But almost all new start-up companies have big fears about the cost of bringing their business online and also the time required after investing. This article is especially for those who want a rough idea about the cost and time frame to make a business app in 2024. We will provide you with exact data and references so that you can make a good approximation of the budget and plan accordingly. As we also serve clients as a Flutter app development company, we will also share our experience, the time required to make an app, and the cost. Time frame and cost depend upon the complexity of projects. If it is made for handling so many requests and data from customers, we require more time in developing, testing, and making more additions if clients want to add something, etc. 

Let's learn something about Flutter. Flutter is developed by Google, and it helps developers create cross-platform applications. This means the developer will write code once, and after a little bit of change, it can run on an iOS device as well. You can also make software and web apps. It is open source and supports high-performance, visually attractive projects with a single codebase. As with a single code, you can present your or your client's business on many platforms. so it is also less time-consuming. It also supports a hot reload feature. means that if a developer writes any code, he can instantly see changes in the app. That's why business app development in the Flutter language will be a cost-effective and time-saving idea.

Cost Breakdown of Flutter App Development

I think you are also familiar with the fact that the cost depends on how deep your business app is. For example, if you need a simple app in which users can see your products or services, read blogs, and sign up for a login, then it would be less expensive or delivered in less time. Because this is a general kind of app and almost all apps need these features, our developers are most familiar with this feature and develop this app in the shortest time possible. And it would be approximately $10,000–$55,000 if the level of complexity increased. If you want every user to also be able to sell their product, each has their own account, selling item, and customer details, and the seller can see how much they should pay for our platform on each sale or monthly subscription, push notifications, etc., then it would be $60,000–$1,10,000, and if you want to make your app so powerful, then we need to write a lot of code and integrate a lot of companies. APIs require additional time for testing so we can make sure that before delivery they must work according to your imagination, so they may be around $1,20,000–$2,00,000. But don’t worry, this price varies with companies, working locations, and many more factors. You can also negotiate with your Flutter app development company. According to Statista data, business owners' investment in cross-platform development language increases year after year. We can see in this bar graph provided by Statista how Flutter became a prominent choice among investors. In 2019, spending was 30% on Flutter, and in 2020 it increased by 39%; in 2021, it still increased to 42%; and in 2022, it touched the height of 46%.

Currently, the company is asking for service costs for Flutter development

We have searched for one of the most popular freelancing work providers, Upwork. We found Flutter developers listed there whose minimum per-hour cost was $20/hr and the maximum was $100/hour. We would never recommend that you choose on the basis of service cost. If the lowest-cost developer is unable to handle higher complexity while developing, then there is a possibility that you will lose money as well as time. You should focus on choosing an experienced Flutter developer who has already handled all kinds of errors in previous projects and solved them successfully so that they can deliver you a high-performance version of your dream app or project.

Benefits of Choosing Flutter

Increase  Developer Productivity

Flutter's newly released feature, HotRelod, is very helpful for developers. Through these features, developers can now instantaneously check their code preview without needing to restart the full app. To support this feature, developers can now experiment with code and logic on the live app. This reduced the development time of the app as well as the business owner's money.

Cross-Platform Advantage

This is the main advantage of Flutter's popularity. With a single codebase and minor changes, you can run the app on any platform, whether it is Android or iOS. It can easily be converted into web apps and software. Single investment, multiple uses. All these features come without compromising on performance quality.

Rich UI and animations

Flutter's modern framework comes with a set of customizable widgets that give users the flexibility to create unique and engaging user interfaces. and how we can ignore layered architecture and powerful rendering engines that support developers to include visually appealing animations in projects.

Conclusion

We are working with many technologies to develop mobile and web apps, software, and websites. If we provide any suggestions about Flutter, we will find it cost-effective and much easier to code and execute. less possibility of error on the developer side as well as the client side. And we have solved very complex business problems with Flutter, and it handles all things smoothly.

If you want to move your current app to Flutter or want to make a new business app in Flutter, then we can guide you on how to start. According to your current business, how should you plan your app so that in the future you can save both development time and cost?

Some Projects That We Worked On

For More You Can Check Here: https://softradix.com/our-work/

[komekoro]

Here is how I would break this down.

First, find how much and when all of your non-negotiable bills are. Rent, utilities, internet, car payments, credit card or student loan payments, insurance, etc. (I see how you are looking for public transportation, but want this to be apply to as many as possible). Put those on a calendar that just has 1st through 31st.

Next, find your other bills. Streaming services, Patreon, other subscriptions that you definitely want to keep and do the same thing. If you find anything here that you forgot you subscribe to or find that you really don’t use anymore, you could cancel them now.

Now budget in other bills that you have pay but aren’t bills per se. Things like groceries, gas for your vehicle, things like that.

See where you are at with your expenses per paycheck. If you are already saving, note where in the month and how much you save as well.

Now, take a look at the things that keep you sane that aren’t in these categories. Things like coffee, hanging out with friends for lunch at that little cafe down the street, whatever. Guesstimate how much those run for how often you do it.

Last, take a look at your bank statements and see where else you spend money. Things like coins for mobile games, amazon impulse purchases, etc. we want to see where all the money is going.

Now that you have an idea about how you spend money, look at your cash flow. Is one part of the month tight and the other part more financially flexible? Are both/all parts more equal? It may be better to save $100 all in one paycheck later in the month than equally take $50 out of each paycheck, for example, if too many non- negotiable expenses take place at the beginning of the month.

Now that you can kinda place everything in a month, this is where you start looking at your extra money, seeing how much you can put away, where you can spend less, and how much to budget for sanity spending. Craft stores, kindle books, and mobile games are my weakness, so I make sure I stay within my budget, but also that I have a budget for them. Because if I just cut that out completely, at some point I will get stressed and spend money that I shouldn’t. Give yourself some money to spend on fun stuff. I saved up to move almost 2,000 miles away. I needed a good amount of money. I cancelled subscriptions, looked at my grocery bill and bought less snacks, cut my new clothing budget down quite a bit(less to pack later). BUT I left room in my budget to eat out at least once a week, buy a new ebook weekly, and buy yarn at the craft store once a month for my knitting and crocheting hobbies. Because otherwise I would feel like I was cutting back too far, then would get stress and stress but feel good stuff at the mall right next to work on my way home, or got to the bougie yarn stores and spend $$$.

If you want to save serious money, see when your goal is, then break down that money by year, then by month. If you want 30k€ in 7 years, that’s roughly 360€ per month. Once you finish paying off your debts like you want, keep paying your savings that same amount as you are currently paying to those companies. So, it may be that you can only save , for example, 100€ per month right now, because you are paying 400€/month towards paying off debt. But in two years once those debts are paid, that’s 500€/month you are saving now, instead of the 100€.

And if you can, once you have saved up 300-500€, open a separate savings account for this money. That way you know exactly how much you have saved and where your goal is at. But most accounts, at least where I’m at, do have a minimum balance or they will start taking maintenance fees, so maybe look around, see who has less fees and better interest rates, and just plan on parking your money there once you have above the minimum. And bonus points if it’s at a different place than at your normal bank account so it’s harder to access funds and less prone to impulse spending.

@saaraahka if you have any questions about particulars, feel free to dm me.

Source: I’m a bookkeeper professionally and my parents were both in finance. I know what to do, even if my adhd makes personally following a budget hard.

Sooo if im ever going to be able to buy a house..

I need to be debt free, 1-2 years fingers crossed. And I'll need to have 15% of the price of the house in cash to get a mortgage. So minimum something like 30k€ in my area (and any area close to public transportand workplaces). Maybe doable in 3-5 years (so 7 in total) if I continue to have a job and don't treat myself with anything fun like travel, new phone, food other tham basic and stuff like that.

Soo how do I break this down in like realistic achievable short term goals while also not idk break down completely?

[thekatebridgerton]

The Economics of Bridgerton and why it got renewed so fast

So I’ve been seeing some people complaining about why Bridgerton got renewed so fast when other shows deserved it more, its not that great of a show blaha blah blah. And I thought I’d let you know a little something about the Economics of a TV show and how that translates to what gets renewed and what gets axed. Ready? here we go.

First of all viewer, get this straight, You as an individual don’t matter to the Network in the bigger economic scheme of things. What you do matters. What you consume matters, and ultimately how you spend your time matters, but you and your delicate sensibilities as a person? not so much. Because the only thing that matters to the Network and everyone involved in making that show is PROFIT

Networks obtain profits, from things such as Merchandise, advertisements and in Netflix case, subscriptions to their streaming service. 

The higher the views in a show, the more money those three things above bring. More people watching the show, means more ad revenue, more merch revenue, more subscriptions bought and renewed, more social media exposure, more people buying whatever Netflix has to offer. Which enables Netflix to produce more of that content you like to consume so much. And by produce I mean, invest in things such as sets, costumes, actors, screenwriters etc

You see why a Network who only cares about profit would be particularly eager to have many viewers already accounted for BEFORE a premier right?. But how do you gurantee that people will consume a product before it has even been released?

How does Netflix guarantee that Bridgeton season 1 will be watched by millions before it actually happens? don’t people need to try the product before forming an opinion about it?. It’s not like they can be 100% sure they will get enough viewers to justify the money already spent filming S1. Except that...Bridgerton already came with viewers guaranteed. 

Let me explain Julia Quinn has already built up a fanbase of millions of people who love the Bridgerton books. If all else fails for the Network they still have the safety net of all those millions of people who would tune in and watch Bridgerton S1 if only to support their beloved author, and their beloved series. These viewers were already guaranteed before S1 even started filming., even if Bridgerton had been a failure, the Network (Netflix) would still get enough revenue to cover production costs. 

Ever wonder why reboots are so popular these days? see the above. It’s not exactly because of nostalgia, it’s because of profit. Why invest in something new and original when you could do something that’s been done before and guarantee yourself viewers even before you start filming. A reboot or a retelling can give a bigger safety net to Networks and Studios who simply don’t want to suffer economic loss if a project fails. Of course reboots and retellings are kinda souless right? we can all see right trough their money making schemes. It’s not fun for the viewer and more risky for the Studio or Network.

You know which is the most lucrative option? A BOOK ADAPTATION. Like Bridgerton, and most recently, Shadow and Bone. This product comes with millions of viewers attached, the viewer is willing to be used for their money making scheme, because they want to be surprised, they want to see even a figment of the world they could only read about be put into a screen. And if it’s really good the viewer (consumer) will reward the Network (producer) with the profits they have been chasing so much. It’s quite frankly a brilliant business strategy. 

So if you ever wonder why things like the After series, fifty shades of grey, the kissing booth series and to all the boys series and even Twilight, got greenlighted so fast. Think about where the profit line is? and how many viewers were guaranteed before filming. It’s the same reason production hires big name actors or TikTok stars with cero experience in Hollywood. (The amount of viewers they can guarantee by being in the movie, that matters to the Network and the Studio.)

If people watch Bridgerton, it makes profit, if it makes profit, then resources used in other projects will be allocated to filming Bridgerton, possibly delaying the greenlight for other shows that did not bring in as much revenue during the same quarter. 

Cancelations occur when a show doesn’t make as much revenue in comparison to other things offered by the same network. It doesn’t matter if it was good, well written and beloved. If the show did not make as much profit for the network as other shows competing for their time slot and production resources. It’s going to get axed.

As far as I’m concerned, I know I’m very lucky that Bridgerton is extremely popular and that Netflix doesn’t need to spend much money doing promotional campaigns. Lots of people watch it and want more of it. I’m one of them, my favorite show will be on air for a long while and that makes me happy

Bridgerton can reach a demographic of diverse races, diverse nationalities and diverse ages, ranging from 15 to 60 year-olds. Which multiplies the amount of viewership the show receives by a million, at least compared to other shows targeted at smaller and less diverse demographic groups. 

So tell me dear viewer, how many guaranteed consumers does your favorite Tv show have? are you sure the competition doesn’t have more? I will leave that for you to think about

[thetravelerwrites]

Henry (Part 2) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Female Human/Male Naga Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Naga, Amphiptere, Friends to Lovers, Best Friends to Lovers, Demisexual, Graysexual, Content Warnings: Cam Worker, Cam Model, Sex Worker Words: 4467

The reader breaks a rule and meets Henry’s family, where awkward questions make for an awkward dinner. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

After two and a half months, Henry finally had the money he needed to open up the second location even without renting out the opposite apartment, and the two of you were scouting for the new place. You’d decided that you would run one of them and he would run the other. You were sad that you wouldn’t be working together anymore, but the two of you lived together now, so at least you’d be able to spend time together at home. Henry was also talking about hiring on additional employees if the second location did well, so the two of you wouldn’t have to work so hard.

“What do you think of this place?” He asked. “It’s a little small for what I was thinking, but it’s right next door to a popular wedding venue. We could do special deals for the weddings.”

“That would generate a lot of business, even in the slow season,” You replied. “And it wouldn’t matter if it was small if we had two locations. We could just deliver what we didn’t have here from the main building. It’s only ten minutes away.”

“Right,” He agreed. “So? Is it a yes to this one?”

“Well, it’s your decision, babe,” You said. “It’s your money, your business.”

“And you’re my girlfriend,” He said, pulling you into his arms. “And my business partner. You input matters to me. We make all decisions together.”

You smiled at him fondly. “God, I love you.”

He grinned down at you. “I love you, too. So?”

You looked around one more time and said, “It’s a yes. I like this place. It’s got character.”

“Right? It’s charming. We can work with charming. I’ll pay the deposit on Monday.” He picked you up and swung you around, as well as he could with his long tail in the way. “I’m so excited! Owning my own shop was my dream, and I never expected to be able to expand!”

“I’m so happy for you, babe,” you said, kissing him. “For both of us.”

He kissed you back twice and set you back down on your feet. “So, you’re still up for this weekend? Meeting the parents and everything?”

“Of course, I’m dying to meet them,” You said. “Do… they know about your side job?”

“No, they don’t,” He said firmly. “And I’d like to keep it that way, please. I mean, you know I’m not ashamed of my job, but it’s still my parents. All parents know their kids jerk off and stuff, but they definitely don’t want to talk about it.”

“This is slightly different, don’t you think?”

He shrugged. “It’s still embarrassing to tell them that I take my clothes off for money, even if there’s no touching involved.”

“Well, they won’t hear it from me, then,” You said. “Your secret is safe.”

“Thank you,” He said, smiling. He took your hand and led you out of the vacant building and toward the bus stop. There was a bus for larger non-humans that came twice a day.

“Have you told them much about me?” You asked, sitting on the bench to wait.

“I never shut up about you,” Henry said ruefully. “I’ve been talking about you for years, even before we met. I think they knew I was in love with you before I did. My sister literally told me to shut up once, because I kept gushing about you.”

“That’s sweet,” You said.

“You don’t talk to your folks much, do you?” He asked.

“Not really,” You replied, sitting at the bus stop with him sidling up to coil next to you. “Lots of stuff went down when I left that my parents weren’t cool with, and they said a lot of things that I wasn’t cool with, so we’re just not cool with each other in general.”

“Hmm,” He said. “Well, my sister will like you.” His eyes narrowed. “That may not be a good thing. She keeps trying to steal my girlfriends.”

You laughed. “Well, she doesn’t have a chance. I’m over the moon for you.”

He grinned at you. “That’s good to hear.” He lay his head on your shoulder briefly. “I’m madly in love with you.”

“Yay,” You said softly, kissing the top of his head, careful not to stab yourself on his horns.

“Can we go home and have celebratory sex?” He asked.

“Absolutely. Then we’ll order dinner and play a round of Final Fantasy XIV.”

“It’s a date. I do have a cam session later tonight, though, so I have factor that in.”

“Oh, if that’s the case, we should wait on the sex,” You said, looking down the street and seeing the bus approach. You stood up. “You should be fresh for your clients. We can have all the boning we want afterward. Anything fancy planned?”

“Nope, just a show and share, standard stuff. But it’s a new client, so that’s typical. ”

“Have you dropped a client? You usually don’t take new ones unless one either stops buying slots or you ban someone.”

“One of my old patrons moved on, so I held an auction for his slots. The money from that auction was the final monetary push I needed for the new location,” He said, following you to the curb as the bus stopped in front of you.

“Well, thank you to that person,” You said with a laugh, getting up into the bus. Henry followed you.

After getting home, the two of you ordered some sushi and played video games. Around eight o’clock, he set the controller down.

“Time for the session?” You asked, powering down the game console.

“It will be soon. I need to get ready. Want to help out?”

“Always. That new purple bolero would look lovely, and we can put some spray glitter in your hair.”

“That shit takes forever to get out!” He whined.

“Yeah, but it looks so cute! And I’ll help you wash it out later.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise,” You said. “Come on, I’ll get you all dressed up and looking pretty for your new client.”

“You’re the best, babe.”                 

You had gotten pretty adept at getting him ready for his shows quickly, and honestly it was a great bonding moment between the two of you. He stayed still and obedient like a puppy while you were doing in and he always looked like a total snack when he was done. Not that he didn’t normally, but the costumes were a great garnish.

When you were finished, you kissed him, said, “Have fun,” And left him to his work.

He’d moved his camming desk and rig to the bedroom so that the two of you could set up his and hers gaming stations in his old office, where the two of you spent a lot of time.

You’d just sat down to play some Among Us with friends when you realized that you’d left your phone in the bedroom. You swore at yourself for being so thoughtless. The number one rule was never interrupt a camming session, it could cost him clients if they found out he had a girlfriend. Some might even want you to participate, and that was not something you were up for.

But you also didn’t want your phone to ring while he was in a video chat. You were usually so careful, so this made you really mad at yourself. Henry couldn’t afford to lose customers right now, with opening the new location. He’d need every penny he could earn.

You knew he kept his Discord up when he was working, in case any emergencies arose and you could notify him, so you pulled it up and typed, >I forgot my phone in the bedroom. Can I come get it?

He typed back, >Sure, just try to be quiet, please.

You tip-toed to the bedroom and pushed the door open gingerly. Henry was talking to his new client playfully. He flicked his eyes over to you and gave you a quick wink before returning his attention to the screen.

Henry’s desk was circular and facing inward toward the wall, so there was be a solid background rather than showing his clients your bedroom. Your phone was on the nightstand next to the bed-nest, out of frame.

“So, tell me a little about yourself, sweetheart,” He said sultrily. “What do you like? What do you like having done to you?” Henry was wearing an earpiece through which the client responded. This prevented you from having to listen and the client from hearing you rattling around in the apartment. “Mmm, that sounds fun. You want to show me, or would you like me to show you first?”

You stealthed across the room and picked up your phone, turning it to silent. When you turned back around, Henry had removed the bolero jacket and was touching his chest suggestively and biting his lip.

“You look so pretty when you do that,” He said with a low-pitched growl in his voice.

Watching him in his element was… kinda hot. Instead of leaving, you sat down quietly on the bed-nest and watched him. He flicked his eyes over to you again for a millisecond, and you heard him typing.

>What are you doing?

>Admiring you. You responded. >You look so sexy.

>You’re breaking the rule.

>Then tell me to leave.

You could tell he was suppressing a smirk, but he didn’t tell you to leave.

>Just be as quiet as possible and you can stay, just this once, He texted you.

>Promise.

He continued the session with you reclining in the nest, watching him work. Normally in the first session with a new client, he didn’t go all the way, so to speak. It was more of a peep show and less of a full service. Usually it was a strip tease and some light touching to entice them to continue their subscription.

The way he was putting on a show for the camera, the exaggerated movements, the low, husky voice, the touching, the sly smirk on his lips, did things to your body. You squeezed your legs together and squirmed slightly, but he didn’t notice.

How much would he let you get away with, you wondered? Slowly, you let your hand slip into the sleep shorts you were wearing, spreading your legs a little.

This time he noticed. A minuscule flick of his eyes made them widen slightly, and he turned back to the keyboard while still engaging with the client.

>Stay quiet, He said. >Don’t make a sound.

He lowered his lashes and took a covert look at you, and you nodded.

He continued with his flirty introduction and laid the flattery on thick to the client, while every once in a while stealing a glance at you. You rocked your pelvis against your hand, massaging your pearl and biting your wrist to keep silent, all while watching him. You saw him pull his tail around under the desk and began stroking his slit in circles, the heads of his dual cocks just starting to peek out.

Just as you were getting to your first orgasm, Henry said, “Well, darling, our time is up. I hope I’ll see you again. I had a wonderful time with you.” He dipped his head down and looked up through his eyelashes, pouting slightly. “Come back soon. Until then, you take care, okay darling? Good night and sweet dreams.”

You came hard, gripping the sheets in one hand as you struggled to stay quiet. Henry exited out of the video chat, tore his earpiece off and threw it onto the desk, and darted toward you, pulling your hand out of your shorts and over your head.

“You…” He said with a dark, gruff tone. “You have been very… very… bad.”

This was a new side to sweet, cuddly Henry. “And what will you do?” You taunted, feeling a little thrill up your spine.

Without warning, he flipped you onto your stomach and snatched your shorts and underwear off. He pushed himself into you, not in a way that hurt, but definitely hard and unceremonious. Since you had climaxed already and were a bit sensitive, it was almost sensory overload, but it was so good, and you gave yourself over to it.

He took both of your hands and held them behind your back with only one of his while he used the other to grip your hip to pull you harder against him.

“Don’t be quiet now,” He growled at you. “Make noise. Moan for me, scream for me, let me hear your voice.”

You were happy to obey, being a little louder than you normally were. You grunted and groaned as he pounded into you roughly, a way he’d never been with you before. He was always gentle and affectionate, and you loved it, but this was on another level. It was hot and passionate and wild, and you were enthralled. You loved Sweet Henry, but Feral Henry was incredible.

Henry came violently against you, growling, and withdrew, thrusting the second cock into you and going full-throttle again. You were used to Henry’s stamina by now, so you could hang with it. Another burst of pleasure crashed into your body, and you screamed his name.

“That’s a good girl,” He snarled into your ear.

A third orgasm, and then a fourth, and by the fifth, you were getting tired. He released one last shot inside you and let you go, collapsing next to you in the nest. You lay face down and gasped.

After a moment or two, he got up on his elbow and stroked your back.

“Are you okay? Do you need some water? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked softly.

Ah. Sweet Henry was back. You loved Sweet Henry. He was the best.

“No, I’m okay, babe,” You turned your head to look at him. “What was that? You’ve never been like that with me before.”

“I don’t know,” He said, looking a little shocked at himself. “I’ve never been like that with anyone before. Was it bad?”

“No, on the contrary, it was amazing,” You replied, turning on your side to face him. “I was just playing with you, I didn’t know I’d bring that out.”

“Me neither,” He said ruefully, laughing self-consciously and scratching the back of his head. “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you?”

“I’d have said so if you did, you know that,” You said, reaching up to stroke his face. “I won’t sit in on sessions again, I know it’s bad for business. But… maybe we could roleplay Feral Henry one night. That was fun.”

He grinned wickedly at you, kissing the inside of your hand. “I look forward to it.”

That Sunday, the two of you took a trip across town to see his family. Despite living in the same city, you hadn’t actually met them yet. They traveled often for work, as they owned an advertising company and worked with businesses across the country. Their daughter, Henry’s older sister, was their secretary and did most of their scheduling.

Henry didn’t want to be an executive with the company and preferred to stand on his own two feet… so to speak. Thankfully, his family was understanding and didn’t object when he decided to follow his dreams instead of staying with the family business. After all, the advertisement company had been his parents’ dream.

You and Henry took a large-race cab service out to the richer end of the city, where his parents lived. They’re house had been built with nagas specifically in mind, so it had been built all on the ground level, but it was huge. There were at least six bedrooms, as far as you could tell.

Henry’s parents, Ruth and Richard, met you at the door. Ruth’s scales were a solid bright blue from waist to tail. Her skin was a burnished bronze and her eyes were gold in color. She had a long, lovely set of wings in blues and gold. She wore a long halter top in a deep brown that matched her tumbling hair and complemented her skin tone.

Richard, on the other hand, did not have wings and as such, wore a simple button up shirt. He was grey in color, both scales and skin, with black rings along his tail and grey horns jutting up from the top of his head out of his pitch black hair.

Naga women didn’t have mammary glands, since their diet at birth was strictly meat, transitioning to other foods as they aged, so nagas often didn’t feel the need to wear clothing. Henry didn’t typically wear clothing unless he was camming or in the shop, in which he wore a basic white t-shirt specially made with a panel in the back to accommodate his wings. Sometimes an apron, if he was feeling fancy. Otherwise, he went without clothes. Today, he went super posh with a blue t-shirt, since this was a special occasion and everything.

“Henry!” Ruth said, rushing out to meet her son. “You look so handsome!” She hugged her son tightly, their wings touching lightly. “And is this your girlfriend? She’s so lovely! Come and give me a hug, sweetie!”  

You walked into her muscular arms and she gave you a warm, motherly hug that felt really nice. Since you weren’t speaking to your own family, this was a type of touch you really missed.

“It’s so nice to meet you!” You said as you stepped away. “Henry has told me all about you.”

“Likewise!” She said, cupping your face. “Gosh, he’s talked about nothing else besides you for years!”

“Honey, don’t embarrass our son,” Richard said, coming out to shake your hand. “It is lovely to meet you at last.”

“You too, sir,” You replied.

“Oh, please, call me Richard. Come in, come in, dinner is almost ready,” He said, putting a hand behind your back, stopping just short of touching you, and ushered you inside.

You could smell a savory smell that made your mouth water as soon as you came inside. You followed Richard into the kitchen, where there was a large, high bar in place of a dinner table and a single barstool.

“We actually had to buy a chair!” Ruth said. “That was exciting. We did measurements and everything.”

Her excitement made you smile wide and feel a little shy. Henry grinned down at you and took your hand, leading you forward toward the barstool. You sat down and looked around the enormous, beautiful kitchen.

“Is she here yet?” A voice from the doorway said. Henry’s sister, Rea, entered unclothed, looking much like her brother but having her mother’s coloring.

“Rea, put on a shirt! We have company!” Ruth said.

“No, really, it’s okay, I’m used to Henry not wearing clothes, so it’s totally fine.” You hopped off the chair and went over to greet her and introduced yourself.

“I’m Rea, it’s great to meet you.” She looked you up and down. “You weren’t lying, Henry, she’s as hot as you described her.”

“Hey,” Henry said warningly, coming up behind you and hugging you close to his chest. “She’s taken.”

“For now,” Rea said to her brother, smiling slyly. He growled.

“Don’t fight,” Ruth said. “Come now, dinner is ready.”

Henry helped you pop back up on the stool and the naga family simply sat back on their tails. Dinner was rare steak and garden vegetables tossed in a homemade dressing and a dry white wine.

“Are you both amphiptere?” You asked Ruth and Richard.

“Yes,” Richard said. “But it’s less likely for the males to have wings than the females. Even among our own kind, Henry is rare.”

“Aww,” You said, patting his cheek. “That doesn’t surprise me one little bit. He’s special.”

“In the head, maybe,” Rea said, shoving a large piece of steak in her mouth. Henry shot her a dry look, but his mouth was too full to retort.

“Well, I’m glad he finally found someone who understands and appreciates his value,” Ruth said. “We were beginning to think he’d never get married.”

Henry choked on his wine, spitting it across the table. His parents and sister had to shield their plates.

“Mom, we’ve only been dating for a few months, it’s too early to be talking about marriage.”

“Oh, please, it’s inevitable, you’ve been in love with her for years!”

“Yes, but she wasn’t aware of that until recently!” He responded. “This is all new for her.”

“But you love her, right?”

“Mom, for the love of God,” Henry groaned, massaging his temples. “Yes, I love her, but it’s still basically the beginning of our relationship. You’re going to scare her off.”

“Well, what do you think?” Ruth asked, turning to you. “You’d marry him, wouldn’t you?”

You opened your mouth, taken aback.“I…”

“You don’t need to answer that,” Henry said. “Mom, really, don’t make her feel uncomfortable. Neither of us are thinking about marriage right now. Can we please talk about something else?”

“Mom, really, leave Henry alone,” Rea said.

“Alright, alright, I’m just saying--”

“Honey,” Richard said stiffly. “Please.”

Ruth sniffed and sighed, but fell silent. What followed was a rather awkward dinner.

As the two of you were leaving, Ruth apologized for being so pushy, having thought about her words over the strained silence. You told her it was okay, and that you were looking forward to seeing them again.

Back on the taxi heading toward town, you started thinking about it. Did he really not think about getting married one day? You were kind of hoping that eventually you would. Not soon, but eventually.

“Don’t worry about my mom,” Henry said, taking your hand. “She has that mom habit of not knowing when to stop.”

“No, it’s totally fine, she just caught me off guard, is all,” You replied.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked, tilting his head down a bit to look at your face. “You seem bothered by something.”

“It’s just…” You tried to think of a way to phrase it that wouldn’t spook him but failed. “No, it’s nothing really.”

“No, no,” He said, bumping your shoulder with his lightly. “Come on, I know there’s something on your mind. I’m your best friend, right? You can tell me anything.”

You sighed. “Are you really not thinking about marriage at all? I don’t mean right now or anything, but like in the future? Maybe a few years from now?”

“Well…,” He began, his brow furrowing. “I mean, yeah, of course I am. I’ve been thinking about marrying you since before we ever met. But our relationship is new and I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. And we’re opening a new shop! Who knows how long it’ll be before the chaos of that subsides long enough for us to even begin to plan a wedding? It could genuinely be years.”

“So… it’s a possibility, then?”

“More than a possibility, I’d say,” He said with a gentle smile. “But we need time to feel this out. Just because we love each other is no reason to rush into something we aren’t necessarily prepared for, you know? Marriage is… a lot.”

You nodded. “Yeah. And I agree with you, but I was just worried that you weren’t even considering it.”

“Well, don’t worry. It’s definitely on my mind.”

“Good.” You laid your head on his shoulder, linking your arm with his. “Do we still have ice cream at home?”

“Nope, I ate it earlier.”

“Boo, you suck.”

He chuckled. “We’ll stop at the store on the way home. Mint chocolate chip and some cookies?”

“You know me so well.” You raise your head and puckered your lips, and he bent down to kiss you.

“I do think that before we start talking seriously about marriage or anything like that, I want to stop camming.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, when I got into it, I never intended to be a career, it was just a side job to help me pay bills. It’s fun and I like it, but I don’t want to do it forever. There is a risk to it, and I worry that you might be affected by it, and I don’t want that.”

“Risk?”

“Yeah. In fact, I think I’m going to end the camming early this year. I’m booked through the month, but I think I’ll make a post tonight saying that I’m going offline for the season. We’re going to be run ragged getting the new place set up. Some people will be upset about it, but they can deal with it.”

“People will be mad?” You asked. The taxi stopped and he took your hand, escorting you out and down the sidewalk toward the small store near your home.

“Yeah,” He said. “A lot of people get that I have a normal life outside of my side job, but some people can be obsessive. Usually, they just wait until next season opens up and book all of my openings they can afford, but some get personal. I block the ones that are too aggressive or start trying to get too close.”

“Too close?”

“Trying to find out who I am and where I live,” He replied.

“That happens?” You asked, alarmed.

“It’s only happened twice. One of them got the hint when I got angry and I didn’t hear from them again. The second one I had to call the police on. I still have a restraining order out against her.”

“Jesus,” You responded. “I didn’t realize it was so… dangerous.”

“It usually isn’t,” He said off-handedly. “That’s the beauty of anonymity and the internet. But I am a rare breed, so it’s easy for people to match my face in real life if they really dig. I mean, you did, right? I have a VPN and pretty hardcore protections on my computer that prevent hacking it remotely, but people can be persistent.”

“That’s… scary,” You said, frowning.

“Don’t worry,” He said, flexing his arms and stomach muscles. “I can handle just about anything.”

“Just about,” You echoed under your breath, and followed him into the store.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[missmentelle]

Tips for cutting off toxic, manipulative, and abusive parents?

I recently wrote a guide to escaping from a toxic household if you are currently living with your parents, but to summarize, cutting them off basically boils down to two things: financial independence and emotional resolve. 

When you are cutting your parents out of your life permanently, the most important thing to do is to get yourself into a position where you no longer need them for anything financially. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be debt-free or living a middle class lifestyle - you just need to be able to pay for all of your rent and expenses every month without any assistance from them. If you are still in school, you need to secure a way to pay for your remaining tuition - like a scholarship, needs-based financial aid or student loan - and make sure that you don’t need your parents’ signatures on anything to get that money. Needing any kind of money or material support from your parents gives them leverage over you; it’s something that they can hold over your head to maintain control of you. So long as you rely on them for room and board, tuition or financial support, cutting them off is not going to be a realistic option for you - once they have no financial hold over you anymore, they have no weapon to wield against you. 

Achieving financial independence is something that is obviously easier said than done, but as someone who has been financially independent since age 19 (not because my parents are abusive, but because they are flat broke) and financed two degrees by myself, there are a couple of tips that you can use to get there as quickly as possible:

Start saving money in a place where they can’t get it. Make sure that you have a bank account in your name only, so that your parents cannot take money out of your account or tell how much you have. 

Start building your credit. You will not have an “oops, mom, I’m short on rent this month, can you send me $200?” lifeline that your peers have. Your “in case of emergency” plan is your credit card. Get a basic credit card - even if it’s a “secured” card that makes you keep $500 in your bank account to get it - and start building your credit. Make one purchase with the card per month and pay it off right away to avoid interest. Be responsible with your card, and build a good credit score as quickly as you can - this will make it much easier for you to rent apartments, get loans and buy a house later down the line. 

Get a budgeting app or spreadsheet and learn to use it. Make sure you know exactly how much you earn, how much you spend, how much you’re saving, and how much money you need to have in order to be financially independent. Knowing where your money is going is an essential part of the process. 

If you’re in school, try to graduate on time. Make sure you are taking a full course load if you can, and make sure that you are taking the correct courses for graduation. Delaying graduation often means delaying your independence. 

Ask for help when you need it. If you are in school, ask your financial aid office or student advisor for information about scholarships, bursaries and grants. If you’re working, ask your boss about professional development and career advancement opportunities. 

Take on odd jobs if you need to. I have worked many odd jobs to keep myself afloat and build my savings - you can see if anyone needs babysitting, tutoring, help with yard work, dog walking, etc. I’ve done paid freelancing writing, taught English online, delivered flyers and taken on part-time jobs; sometimes you have to grind a little bit to give yourself a cushion of savings. 

Minimize your spending. It goes without saying, but it’s easier to be financially independent if you find ways to live on less money. Find roommates or rent a room in someone’s home instead of finding your own apartment. Try to minimize your subscription services and make sure you’re not paying for subscriptions you no longer use. Learn to cook and make as many meals at home as possible. 

The other important component of cutting off manipulative and abusive parents is to gather up your emotional resolve and commit to cutting them out of your life. Toxic and manipulative parents will use every tactic in the book to try to get back into your life - you know your parents best, but expect that they might beg, lie, threaten, make false promises, make appeals for sympathy, or use other underhanded tactics to try to regain control of you. They may drag other people that you care about into the situation and have those people plead on their behalf. Some do whatever they can to get you to drop your guard and let them in again. Start thinking about that possibility now, so that you can prepare for anything they might throw at you. Remember:

Don’t panic if your parents call the cops or report you missing. If you are an adult, you cannot be forced to go home to your parents, even if your parents report you missing. If law enforcement contacts you, answer their questions, explain that your parents are controlling, let them know that you don’t want any help and tell them that you don’t want your personal information released to your parents. Your family will only be told that you were located safe and that your case is closed. 

Lock down your social media and online presence. Block your parents from your phone, and make sure that they are blocked from all of your social media accounts so that they cannot get information on you. It may be a good idea to set your accounts to private for a while or change your handles and profile pictures so that they cannot find you. 

Prepare yourself for the possibility that you might have to cut off other family members too. When you cut off your parents, brace yourself for the possibility that other members of your family that you were on good terms with - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc - may take your parents’ side, or may reach out to encourage you to forgive your parents “for the sake of the family” or “to keep the peace”. Being free of your parents sometimes means cutting ties with family members who won’t respect your decision. 

Remember the reasons that you decided to cut them off in the first place. Sometimes when you’ve been away from an abuser for a while, you will start to forget the abuse and become nostalgic for the good times that you had with that person. You might even decide that you “overreacted” by cutting them off and consider give them a second chance. Tread carefully with this. Remind yourself of the reasons you left.

The first few months after you leave may be difficult. Your parents may fight back against your decision as hard as they possibly can, and you may find that you have a lot of grieving to do - not because you miss your parents, necessarily, but because you have to come to terms with the fact that you will never have the loving and healthy relationship with your parents that you may have wanted. You will get through it. Seek out support from therapists or from other people who have cut off their parents. Focus on forming new, healthy relationships with the people in your life. Build a life free from abuse, a life that makes you happy and fulfilled. Stay strong, stay focused. Remember that you deserved better than your parents were willing to give.  Best of luck to you.  MM

[pebblysand]

[writing rant - on the monetisation of fanfiction]

a couple of months ago, when i updated my long fic, one of the people on the comments wrote to me the nicest possible review (one of the ones that you keep in your feel-good 'saved' emails - you know the ones), which, amongst other things also said: 'If I could pay you for this...believe me, I would.'

in the moment, i kind of smiled and laughed, and thanked the person for their kind words before moving on with my life. yet, since then, i have to admit that this sentence has kind of been living rent-free in my head. i think it is also because since diving back into fandom a few months ago, i've noticed something that kind of shocked me at first: more and more fanfiction writers seem to be monetising (or attempting to monetise) their craft.

now, back when i started writing fanfic, we wrote fanfic on ffnet and livejournal. it was accepted that thou shalt never (ever) charge money for your writing or else the author and their mean, angry lawyers will come after you for damages and you will die a slow and painful death. we wrote disclaimers at the start of all of our posts and thanked the gods every day when we did not get sued.

i have seen this change gradually over the years. first, in the mid 2010s, the disclaimers went. then, i noticed that people were getting 'tipped' for fanart, sometimes even charging commission. from what i understand (though, don't quote me on this, i'm not an ip lawyer and this post is not intended as legal advice), this is because the way the concept of fair use is framed under us law makes it easier to monetise fanart than it does fanfiction. maybe this is why visual artists came first on this trend. later still (and more recently) i've noticed fanfic writers, doing the same thing.

to be fully honest, the first thought i had when i saw this trend, considering the fear of god (and his lawyers) that was instilled in me in the past, was: how on earth is this even possible? (i'll come back to that in a bit). the second, though, was: fuck, i wish i had the guts to do that, lol.

because, yeah, i will admit, the idea of getting paid for writing what i love to write does appeal, to a certain extent. i won't lie. dear fanfiction writers who've tried to do that recently: i one hundred per cent get it.

looking back at the last fifteen years, i would say that for me, writing fanfiction has been (in terms of time commitment and energy consumed) the equivalent of having an on-and-off part time job. a job that i have held for one or two years at a time, then quit for a while, before coming back to it when i needed (wanted) it again. i obviously can't realistically give you a number re:the actual total of hours i have spent at this since i started out, but i can give you an idea. recently, i started clocking my hours out of interest and calculated that a chapter of my current long fic takes roughly between one hundred to two hundred hours to produce (and they're around 10,000 words). at that rate, i'm probably working 20 hours a week-ish? sometimes more, sometimes less? something as small as a three-sentence fic (like this for instance), takes roughly two/three hours. i'll be honest, i have cancelled plans to write fic. when i'm working on a long project, i do tend to organise my life to give myself the time to write, so i opt for socialising after work during the week rather than on weekends, as i've found this is when i write best. i won't lie: it is - for me (i know some people write quicker, bless them) - a huge time suck.

so, yeah, i understand, in the capitalist society we live in, wanting to make that time count. our world has unfortunately, repeatedly taught us that time is money and getting more does seem like a nice bonus (as long as you have an audience for your art that's willing to pay, obviously). after all, year after year, i've seen a lot of my friends try and monetise their passions as side hustles, with varying success. at first, glance, i look at the time i spend on writing fanfiction and think: man, i wish i could get a bit back from that too. i couldn't even draw a stick figure to save my life but i assume that the time commitment and energy put into that kind of work is roughly similar for visual fanartists as well. i thus very much understand the sentiment, both with fanart and fanfiction.

additionally, though i appreciate this is a bit tangential, the fact that fanfiction is free, i would argue, hinders its potential to be as representative as it could be. it's a bit sad because on the one hand, the fact that it is free makes it completely accessible to the masses but on the other, it makes fanfiction quite exclusive to rich, privileged people who can afford to spend the time and energy putting content out for free. if i spend this much time writing fanfiction, just because i like it and it makes me happy, it's because my full time job pays me enough to cover my bills. if it didn't, i probably would have to forgo writing and get a proper side gig. if you look at my periods of inactivity on ao3, those also kind of coincide with the times in my life when i had to have more things going on to put food on the table.

so, now, assuming that monetisation is a thing that, as a fic writer, one might want to look at, the next question is: how do you go about monetising it? obviously, the law hasn't changed since the days where we were all terrified of getting sued (although enforcement has been quite lax over the years) so it's more about finding workarounds around the law as it is, rather than actively seeking payment for fanart.

from what i've seen: two main solutions seem to exist.

first, there's the tipping/buy-me-coffee technique. as i understand it, this involves either setting up a page on one of the dedicated websites or just putting up your paypal account link on your tumblr posts. with these links, people can then send you however much money they want (however much money they can afford/think you deserve?) on a one-off basis. they're not actually paying for fanfic because there is no actual exchange of services, it's basically like them giving money to charity, except that charity is a fanfic writer/ fan artist whose work they enjoy.

there are two main issues i see with this: one, legally, i'm not sure how much ground this actually holds. assuming you're quite prolific/successful, if every time you're producing new content, you receive dozens of tips, although you're not actively charging for your fanart, making the argument that your content isn't what these people are actively paying for seems hard. imo, the fact that this method sort of holds is that realistically, you're going to make very little out of this. even if you're really good, you might make what? a couple hundred dollars. now, sure, that's a lot of money for a lot of people but in the grand scheme of things, no one sues anyone for such a low amount. as long as you're not making 'proper' money from it, it is highly unlikely that anyone would come after you.

this being said, the second issue, from my perspective, is that this is not in any way, shape or form, a reliable income. it also does not represent, at all, the cost of the time and investment actually put into said fanfiction (or fanart, i assume). for example: if you're going to tip someone who's worked on something for, say, fifty hours, ten dollars, that's very good of you, but that isn't going to be 'worth' their time. it is only worth their time if tipping is done at as scale, which imo is quite unlikely considering you're putting your content out for free anyway. there are kind souls who will tip you, but not that many, meaning that ultimately, you're not working for free anymore, but you're still working at a huge loss.

additionally, because this income is not even reliable on a monthly/weekly basis, it isn't something that anyone can actually rely on, even if only to fund their coffee habit. it's nice to have, don't get me wrong, but from my perspective, is the legal risk outlined above worth the trouble for the $20/30 tips i'd get every once in a while - not really. such low amounts also don't help diminish the class issue that i talked about earlier. again, if you're going to spend fifty hours on something, you might as well work a minimum wage job - even that will pay you more and will be dependable.

second, there's patreon (and patreon-like sites). here, the income is monthly, people pledge on a subscription basis, which does solve the last point above. it might not be much, but at least it's regular.

the main issue i see with patreon is that it is contingent on the author providing more services on top of what they already provide. in most cases, the author will keep putting their usual content out for free + provide their patreons (depending on tiers) with more content, specifically for them. this, to me, makes this scheme even less appealing than the previous one because a) if i can't provide fanfic to potential patreons (again, you can't sell fanfic), i'm not sure what on earth i could give them (original content? that's not really the same market) and b) that's even more work on my plate. honestly, considering the amount of time i already spend writing fanfic, i have neither the energy nor the willpower to provide extra content for an amount that, regardless, will probably pay me less than a part-time job would. again, you'd have to scale this (i.e. have enough patreons) to make it all worth your while, and even in very big fandoms, even for someone waaaaay more successful than me, i doubt it would be likely.

lastly, as a side note, both of these "methods" are solely accepted if they occur on tumblr/writer's own website, rather than on the writer's ao3 page/fic. there was a post going around explaining why that is (nutshell: it endangers ao3's status as a non-profit archive) but as with all things, i seem to have lost it. [if you do have the link to that post/know what i'm talking about, hit me up and i'll rectify this]. this, regardless, supposes driving traffic from wherever you post your fics towards tumblr/your own website which, again, decreases your chances of scaling this.

so, in the end, where does that leave us?

i think, at this point, we've kind of reached a crossroad. ultimately, i see two ways to look at this:

option one: if you believe that fanfiction writers should be paid for their art, you also probably agree that the methods outlined above, while they do offer some sort of solution, are less than ideal. the ideal solution (for this option) would obviously be to allow fanfiction authors to be properly paid for the publication of their work through 'normal' publishing/self-publishing deals, without the need for a licence from the author (bar - perhaps - the payment of royalties). that would create a proper 'market' for fanfiction, treating it as any other form of writing/art form. it would mean a complete overhaul of the laws currently in place, but why not? ultimately, in a democracy, laws are meant to be changeable.

this being said, though, while my personal knee jerk reaction would be to shout 'hurray!' at this solution, i do not actually think i want this. or, maybe, only part of me does. the part of me who has been writing fanfiction for free for fifteen years is like 'hey, yay, maybe i could get paid!'. but then, there is another part of me that would like, maybe, one day, to write more original fiction (i already do a bit, but not much). that part of me is feels frankly a bit icky about giving up her ip rights.

would i be comfortable with people writing fanfiction of my original work? hell yes. that would be the dream. imagine having your own ao3 fandom, omg. however, would i be comfortable with people profiting from writing fanfiction of my work? honestly, i'm not sure. to me, the answer to that is: it depends (how much time investment was put in? how original the concept is? etc.) which, in fact, kind of brings us back to the current concept of licensing. and yes, maybe the current frame imposed by copyright law has also shaped the way i view the concept of property, and maybe i should be more of a communist, free-for-all kind of person, but unfortunately, i'm not that revolutionary.

also, and slightly tangentially, i find it interesting how profiting from fanficition/fanart is seen as more acceptable i certain fandoms rather than in others. taking the hp fandom for instance, even prior to jkr expressing her views on transgender rights, i often read things like: 'ah, she's so rich anyway, she doesn't need the money.' now, that argument has not only gained traction but is also reinforced by: 'ah, she's the devil and i don't want to fund her. it'd rather give my money to fanfic authors/buy things on etsy.'

while i completely understand the sentiment and do not, in any way, shape or form, support jkr's views, i do find that argument quite problematic. if you set the precedent that because someone is too rich, or because they've expressed views you disagree with, you don't believe that they should be entitled to their own intellectual property rights, i do wonder: where does this stop? this being justified for jkr could lead to all sorts of small artists seeing other people stealing/profiting from their original work without authorisation. 'i don't pay you 'cause i disagree with you,' would then act as a justification, with i find highly unfair. the fact of the matter is: jkr created hp. knowing that, the choice of buying hp products, regardless of her opinions is completely and entirely yours, but buying the same stuff unlicensed, from people who are infringing on her copyrights seems, to me, very problematic as this could potentially be scaled to all artists. either we overhaul the entire copyright system or we don't, but making special cases is dangerous, in my humble opinion.

option two: we choose to preserve copyright law as it is, for the reasons outlined above. this means that most people will not get paid for the content they put out and that the few that do will operate on a very tight, legal rope, and work for tips that are a 'nice bonus' but not a proper pay. this sort of perpetuates the idea that fanfiction is 'less than' other art forms, because in our capitalist society, things that don't generate money (things often made by women, may i add) are not seen as being as valuable as things that do.

for me, personally, while getting paid to write fanfiction sounds lovely (and makes my bank account purr) in theory, i think i side to preserve the current system. as an artist, i think that intellectual property protects us and our concepts from being ripped off by others, including by big companies who might find it handy to steal a design, a quote, anything, without proper remuneration. this is even more important for smaller artists who wouldn't necessarily have the means to defend their craft otherwise.

this being said, i do appreciate that it depends on why you're writing fanfiction. i think that topic probably deserves a whole different post in its own right but ultimately, most people write fanfic because it's fun. we know it's for fun, and not for profit. and if that's the case, then we're okay to receive compliments, reblogs and sometimes, for some people a little bit of an awkward tip for our work. for me, fanfic has been a space to make friends, to get feedback, to learn and to experiment without the pressure of money being involved. that's why i don't particularly mind doing it for free, and wouldn't even bother setting up a patreon or tip-me jar. i love being able to do it just for the enjoyment of myself and my five followers (lol), without worrying about scaling it, or making it profitable. not every part of our lives, not every passion has to be profitable. as we say in ireland, you do it 'for the craic' and nothing else.

this, though, as i already said, also depends on your means and level of privilege. to me, writing for free is fantastic and a bloody relief - it means being able to do exactly what i want. original fiction writing is full of rules, and editors, and publishers. in fanfic, i can write whatever i feel like, and i'm willing to forgo a salary in exchange of that freedom. again, i have a full time job that covers my bills. this does mean, though, that i don't have as much time to dedicate to writing as i would like to.

and also, the thing is: i'm a small author. i happily write in my own little niche. bar that one comment, it is highly unlikely that anyone would actually want to pay me (or even tip me) for my content. but when you look at very successful people, like the author of all the young dudes, i could see how they'd want to get paid for their art, and why they'd feel differently.

bottom line for me is: the flaws of the current systems of remuneration combined with my strong belief in copyright law as a means to protect small, original creators, means that i don't really think it would be right for me to get paid for fanfic, even if i was the kind of person who had the market for it. whilst it would be nice, this very long rant has, hopefully, explained why.

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[erikthedead]

entry #1

I have finally acquired Microsoft Word! I really didn’t want to pay a monthly subscription for it, but it is the best writing software out there. Every time I mention myself spending money, a small prayer goes out to all the tax-paying members of the nation, since all my money comes from Universal Credit, which is the United Kingdom’s cute name for a type of welfare money. I much prefer just calling it ‘welfare,’ or even better ‘NEETbux,’ which I discovered used in online forums as a word for the money people receive when they are not in education, employment, or training (N.E.E.T), which has been my status for about two years now. Then ‘bux’ is just ‘bucks,’ obviously. Bucks is just money, obviously. Many people receiving Universal Credit also work as well; they just receive less - enough to supplement their wages if they aren’t getting enough money from their jobs.  

My last job was working in a busy restaurant for just about a year. Before that I was in university, but I dropped out after only completing the first year out of three. Before that, I worked as a carer for elderly people for just under a year. Before that, I was in college for two years, and I actually passed the course. I only passed it because the subject was forensic science, which included lots of writing about psychology, criminology and lab reports. I was never that good in the lab practically. I got flustered and bewildered in such a bright, sanitary environment that required precision and organisation to achieve the desired results. When it came to scrambling together a report to submit the next day though, I was pretty golden. I only dropped out of university because I had a mental break down as a result of poor mental health and just the fact that going outside and interacting with people was and still is incredibly exhausting for me. After a year of doing that consistently it seems, I get fatigued. In the end I got an average grade for the college course because some of the work was difficult, or boring, and that fatigue was hitting me by the second year. However, the grades I was getting on my university assignments for psychology and sociology were anywhere between top marks and good marks (Between 1st – 2:2 in UK student language). I never once read the feedback from the tutors who marked my work. All I needed to know was the mark was okay and moved on to the next assignment, firstly because I was arrogant and secondly, I couldn’t handle criticism. The mental break down itself involved me walking through the campus one day only to find myself slipping into a dissociative state. Nothing had happened immediately prior to trigger this, it just happened. It felt strange, like I wasn’t really real, and neither was anyone else. Everything felt distant and off, both externally and internally. It was frightening and strangely peaceful, as if at any moment someone could come in and blow the building up and I wouldn’t even react to it. That wasn’t normal. The only way to snap out of it was to lock myself in a toilet cubicle and lightly slice my arm with a tiny knife I had on my keys. It worked, but now I was in floods of tears and a state of distress, so I went to the student welfare services to see if they could help me or at least let me sit somewhere nicer than a toilet while I calmed down. It was an open office waiting area at the side of the bottom floor of a building that matched the layout of a prison ward with the stairs and the upper floors creating a square boarder of classrooms, that would have been cells for a prison. More for practical purposes than for aesthetic reasons, I’m sure. Still sobbing, and hiding my self-inflicted cuts, I asked the person behind the desk if I could ‘see someone,’ which is one polite British way of asking for help. After waiting a little while, a plump middle-aged lady appeared and brought me into her own little private office to ask me what had happened. She gave me her sympathy and asked me about my life and my history, and gave me some more sympathy, while relating her own experiences to mine. She was a good counsellor, basically. But having a good counsellor on site wasn’t enough to keep me on the course after that incident. Getting a degree just wasn’t worth it at the time. Being such a depressed and pessimistic person, I was only actually doing the course for ‘fun’ anyway, not for the hope that it will bring me a better future. Until recently, I never saw a future for myself. It wasn’t even a bleak future I imagined; it was just blank. I couldn’t even conceptualise it.

It’s not a mystery where all my misery came from. My childhood was a bit inconsistent to start, and from what I’ve observed, children need consistency more than anything to develop promisingly. I remember reading a study once that found children raised by parents who were consistently abusive to them were in fact more mentally stable than those raised by parents who could be lovely one day and nasty the next. It was not knowing what treatment they were going to get that did them in. It makes sense because if you’re always expecting to face a thrashing or a shouting at every day, you can at least prepare for it and train yourself to deal with it. We’re very adaptable creatures, but we need to be able to recognise patterns around us to do that. If there is no pattern, then how can we possibly make predictions? Without predictions, how can we possibly feel secure about our future? Having said all that, I was never abused in any way growing up, but I was sometimes neglected by my young mother, who was only 16 when she gave birth to me. Of course, it’s understandable now, but from a child’s perspective all you think is ‘why doesn’t my mum want me?’ When she sends you to your room for no reason and tells you not to come down for hours at a time. I asked ‘why’ a lot. Never got a good reason. I’m sure plenty of people who were raised by a drug-addicted parent can relate to this. She herself was a good mother, not amazing, but good. She told me she loved plenty of times, she gave me what she could, including a little sister when I was three years old. I think it was shortly after her birth that mum started taking heroin. It was only during drug education in year five of school (I would have been about 11) that I put the pieces together. She hid her addiction pretty well from us, but I sometimes found pieces of tin foil lying around the living room with lines of black residue on them, and once or twice witnessed her junkie friends ‘nodding off.’ There’s also a clear memory in my mind of being taken along by her and my nan to score some brown out of town and I can picture in my head the massive set of old-fashioned scales this drug dealer had sat on his coffee table right in front of me. I was too young to understand any of their lingo, though. Yes, I mentioned my nan, my mum’s mum. They got smacked up together, and they eventually got clean together. I’ll never know the details of how that came about because neither of them are alive anymore to ask. Mum died when I was 14 by taking an overdose of her methadone, then nan died when was 21 of a heart attack, likely due to the COPD she had developed from years of smoking.

My nan was so full of love for my mum, my sister and me. Some of my favourite childhood memories are being snuggled up in bed listening to her read me stories, which she did with flare and enthusiasm. She would affectionately call us her ‘wobblies,’ and give us more hugs kisses than we ever wanted. My mum definitely inherited her loving nature from her. But love on its own isn’t enough to keep kids clothed and fed and able to go out and do things. This is where the legend that is my grandad comes in. He is still going strong at 66 years old as of writing. God knows where I’d be without him. He’s been my father figure all my life since I never knew who or where my real dad was. He’s hard-working, reliable, responsible and strong. He supported us immensely despite not relating to him biologically. My biological grandfather was a free-spirited busker who liked to smoke and drink a lot, who I only met a hand full of times before he hanged himself when I was 19. His death did not affect me, but my mum’s and nan’s certainly did. I’ll probably have to see my grandad die as well eventually, and I don’t dread anything more.

Although I started off describing my family background by saying it’s obvious where my source of misery comes from, I must emphasise that my family is not the source of my misery. My childhood overall was pretty forgettable. I only have a few memories and they’re fond memories, despite the unfortunate situation I just described. Even getting my face ripped open by the neighbour’s dog when I was six didn’t faze me. It was only when puberty hit me that life started to feel horrible, and it just got worse.

I was an early bloomer, if blooming is what you call it. I call it mutating. I started getting hairy and growing tits when I was 10, and got my period about a year later. Now THAT is a traumatic memory. Waking up and going for a morning wee as usual, sitting down on the toilet and being overcome with horror at the sight of blood covering my pyjamas, realising there’s only one place that could have come from, then investigating the source only to confirm ‘Oh shit, I’m bleeding from between my legs!’ I was living with my nan and grandad at the time and I stayed there (or here, since I’m still living in the same house as of writing) under their guardianship while mum sorted herself out. After the shocking discovery of blood, I immediately ran into nan’s bedroom to wake her up. I vividly remember what and how she responded to me. With a sigh of what seemed like unsettling disappointment she said “Oh, darling, I’m sorry, I’m afraid you’ve got your period.’  I wonder now if she said it like that because she felt guilty for not warning me about this, as she should have. Someone should have. In all fairness I was young, but the other kids in my year at school were soon popping into adolescence alongside me, so I thought that soon enough everyone else would be going through what I was going through, but that wasn’t the case. I was bullied for having chronic acne. I was also a bit of a chubby boffin, but it was mostly the acne that people targeted me for. The girls shaved their legs once they started to get hairy, and I remember thinking ‘Damn, I suppose I’ve got to do that too,’ despite never wearing a skirt. They also seemed to relish in showing off and comparing their bras in the changing rooms, while I hid away as very best as I could. Make-up was a constant battle between students and teachers because they all wanted to look pretty, but it wasn’t allowed in middle school (Year 5-8), so luckily, I had an excuse for not wearing it. I’d regularly complain to my family about hating going to school, and how depressed I was, but it was all put down to teenage blues. ‘You’ll be alright once your hormones settle down,’ I was told more than once.  I remember my nan telling me I would miss going to school when I was older and so far she’s been proven wrong.  

[articlewritingbd]

Article Writing Basics | How to Become an Article Writer

You would probably hear twelve different stories if you talked to a dozen professional web content writers on exactly how they obtained started.

That's due to the fact that the path to ending up being an article writer is a little like a choose-your-own-adventure tale. The best direction for you will undoubtedly rely on your objectives, experience, and also areas of experience.

Are you desire the freedom of freelance or the regular paycheck of Employment?

Are you a technical mind excellent at details, a promotional artist, or somebody who eloquently distills complex ideas?

On what subjects are you a professional?

Do you have a portfolio of article writing, or are you going back to square one?

The function of this article writing is to provide a map of feasible courses and sources to becoming a paid article writer. You can determine where you fit. When you understand where you're going . it's much easier to outline a training course to arrive.

Freelance or Employment

The option in between freelance and also Employment can be "a little of both." You don't need to make a set choice - take chances as they come! Both working freelances as well as finding a job require prospecting for a job—success in digging needs concentrated initiative. To find out how to start with an advantage and then select the one that suits you best and go for it.

Advantages of Freelance

- You can start prior to you quit your present job.

- You're building your very own service company.

- Variety of Work.

- Over time, your prices can expand to be substantial.

- In some situations, you have a lot more control over tone, format, and web content.

- You select your sectors as well as specialties.

- You can function from house or anywhere.

- You can choose your hrs.

Drawbacks of Freelance

- It takes years or months to develop.

- Inconsistent revenue.

- Constant prospecting and networking for brand-new tasks.

- You may benefit very reduced rates for some time.

- Freelance web sites have fierce competition.

- You have to inspire yourself.

Advantages of Employment

- Steady income.

- Benefits.

- External responsibility.

- Consistent Work.

- Become a specialist because of the organization.

Negative aspects of Employment

- Unless used by a firm with numerous clients, restricted material variety.

- You might have less choice on the format, web content, and voice.

- You function on their schedule.

A freelance company is a small organization. Flexibility includes responsibility. For some, it's even more than worth it. Others choose the framework and assistance of consistent Employment. If you're ready to join the job economic climate, provide yourself the financial breathing area to ramp up slowly without enduring.

How to Start Writing with No Portfolio as well as No Experience

To apply for tasks and also freelance tasks need work samples. You require to comprehend internet formatting as well as, at the very least, the essentials of SEO.

However, if you have no work examples prepared, there are several ways to develop a profile. The spend for these initial steps is little to nothing, yet you'll gain experience as well as take the initially important actions to come to be a content writer.

To develop a profile, you can:

1. Write for a content mill or company that approves novices.

2. Write and send articles for a magazine in online publications.

3. Submit visitor blog posts in your locations of experience.

4. Deal material to family and friends to release on their organization internet sites.

5. Take control of a few of the writing duties for your existing company.

6. Before you register for any content writing possibility online, study that firm. There are many genuine opportunities for every skill and experience degree, yet there are also scams.

2 crucial points as you get going:

1. Do not pay to get Work! Legitimate work opportunities do not bill subscription costs.

2. In article writing as in professional life, if it appears too good to be true, it probably is.

Creating your portfolio can obtain familiar with different markets, topics, and layouts if you're brand-new to writing. Some will be more satisfying as well as all-natural for you. Keep going if you do not like the very first thing you try. There's even more around.

Every Industry Needs Content Writers

What rate of interest you? What experience do you have? Are you sure you want to discover?

Article writers are needed for every market, from video games to healthcare to finance. As the web expands, so does the value of constant, initial, quality content because it functions, mostly! Content advertising produces 3 times as many leads as traditional marketing.

The demand for proficient web content authors maintains growing. Regardless of what passions you, somebody requires your experience.

Expand Your Article Writing with a Focused Niche

As you contribute to your profile of the job, you can prospect for brand-new tasks and clients. Bellow's where the benefits of a particular niche entered into focus.

It's simpler to win a job when you've obtained appropriate examples to show them. Writing brand-new examples for each application or bid gets old quick! On several of the popular freelance websites like Upwork or Guru, companies can get lots of bids in minutes on their article writing jobs. As a consultant, the far better you match a company's target requirements, the much easier you attract attention from the crowd.

You might be experienced enough to study and write on any subject. But the less you know about a subject, the more time you have to finish a task. As you create expertise in a specific niche, you lowered your writing time as well as deliver equal or far better high-quality Work. When you freelance for a living, much less time per job indicates more money per hr.

Naturally, you can have numerous niches! You don't need to limit on your own to just one and also can include extra later.

Exactly how Do I Know It's a Good Niche?

Your writing will undoubtedly flow much better as well as feel less like Work if you delight in the subject. You'll likewise be extra appropriate to insights that engage and hook your audience. If you enjoy the issue, it's a good niche.

One exemption to the follow your heart policy right here if you like the style, however, are colorblind, maybe select another interest for your very first focus. You'll have a hard time fitting into tech but radiate in advertising and marketing if you believe you want to write tech write-ups; however, your all-natural voice is charming as well as flowery. It's better to play to your natural stamina.

The very best niche is a sought-after topic you take pleasure in that additionally aligns with your all-natural toughness.

Where to search Work as an Article Writer

As soon as once more, your course towards paid article writing presents choices. Which is the ideal suitable for you?

You can apply your abilities as an article writer in any one of your favorite markets. Avenues to discover the operate in your areas of passion consist of:

- Job listings for material writers.

- Sites where freelancers bid on tasks like Freelancer or Scripted.

- Work via internet building contractors, digital advertising business, or web content companies.

- Find sites you want to create for and also pitch the owners.

- Join a start-up company in your location of rate of interest.

- Advertise your solutions in your area or online.

- Network with your Chamber of Commerce or various other business networking groups.

- Network through Facebook as well as LinkedIn.

Begin with a couple of methods of prospecting for a job. With a stable initiative, you'll locate the routes that help you.

The even more individuals that know your solutions are readily available, the far better. The lower line to consistent Work is to obtain in front of as many prospective employers as feasible!

Source

Resources for Content Writers

Enhance as well as fine-tune your blog writing with free online devices. Several grammar checkers provide a complimentary variation of their editor. They catch the tone and also arrangement problems missed by Word.

The Hemingway Editor helps with readability by identifying facility and also hard-to-read sentences. It tells you the quality degree of your writing, highlights passive voice, and also supplies less complicated word alternatives.

To increase the allure of your headings, the Advanced Marketing Institute developed a complimentary headline analyzer.

Thesaurus.com assists keep the Word selection intriguing if you locate yourself repeating words.

The Rich World of Article Writing

Whether you desire to function as an article writer for your present employer or to construct your name in the journalism globe, there is a demand for your voice as well as ability what's important to keep writing and continue finding out.

At first, the roadway might be rough. Also, if you have an idea of that, you are as a writer and even a clear image of where you finest fit, there will certainly be difficulties. It occurs to all writers.

Or, you may have no concept what interests you or what format deals with your all-natural strengths as a writer. Keep calm! You will remain to find out as you go. The roadway will end up being smoother when your Work is released, and tasks begin to load your e-mail.

It is a smooth component of the target market's experience when writing is done well. Article authors shape how content exists and can affect just how individuals assume. Even when an article is writing someone else's vision, your skill makes it worth analysis.

The web has plenty of people sharing them on the internet success tales. Hopefully, reading this is one tiny action in yours.